Surgery still pending...

The operating room is still unavailable at this time due to previously scheduled surgeries in the heart OR's.  So, we're waiting for an open room.

Chrissie is hanging in there.  They've have to adjust some medicines and the ECMO and her ventilator to achieve the oxygen sats that they want, but that's why we have this life saving equipment on her.

We do have one miracle already on this Miracle Monday:  Chrissie's heart is in the correct beating pattern right now.  She's on a special medicine to help obtain this syncrhony (they've tried everything, including shocks and various meds that haven't worked so far), but this morning Dr. Porisch turned down the pacemaker just to test Chrissie's natural heart beat.  And guess what?!?  It was in synchrony!!!  This is a tally for us to add to our miracle list for Miracle Monday.  They set the pacemaker to only shock if Chrissie's heart rate drops below 90, and it's been hanging around 95-97 on its own for the most part, which is just miraculous!

We've had a little more explained to us about what they're going to do during today's open-heart surgery.  They're planning to keep her on the same ECMO machine after surgery, but they're going to change some things up in her chest.  They're going to do some pretty aggressive cleaning of her lungs and they'll clean out her chest.  They're going to remove the cannula that's currently in her right atrium (where the ECMO has been pulling blood out of Chrissie's right atrium and pulling it into the ECMO to be "treated" (oxygenated and a bunch of other stuff).  Currently it's being returned to the aorta after the blood goes through the ECMO machine, so the heart has basically been bypassed right now so that it could fully rest.  Now that the Echo shows that the entire right side of the heart (the right atrium and ventricle) appears to be strong and beating well, they're going to try to remove life support from that side of the heart to see what it's capable of doing on its own.  The right side should pump blood to Chrissie's lungs, and after they get her lungs all cleaned out, hopefully the lungs will be able to receive the blood.  They know they'll need to keep the left side of the heart on the ECMO machine because it's too weak to function on its own at this time.  So, depending upon how things go the OR, they'll either be putting a new cannula into the left ventricle or left atrium (they're not sure what's going to work best right now), and then the ECMO machine will pull that blood into the machine for "treatment" (that the left side of the heart would normally do) and return it to the aorta via the aortic cannula.  They will have to "drill" a hole into whichever part of the left side of the heart they decide to put the cannula into, and then they're going to try to figure out how to run it to the ECMO yet still be able to close up the chest.  (They need to get the chest closed due to high risk of infection after it's been open for a full 8 days now, plus the lungs need the chest closed in order to work properly with inflation.)

So, this is all a HUGE challenge.  Again.  It's going to be up to God and He must direct the hands of the cardiac surgeon as well as the entire team who will be assisting him.  We are petitioning the Lord for a miracle, and I am so deeply touched that so many of you are fasting and praying for our princess.  The Lord is being glorified, and He is pleased with your faithfulness to Him and oh how He is loving spending such wonderful quality time with you as you cry out to Him on behalf of our daughter.

I had the opportunity to read some of the comments to Chrissie today, which was such a blessing.  Stephanie is our friend who lives on our ranch who is taking care of all of our kids and animals and the ranch.  She wrote Chrissie a nice long letter of all of the things Stephanie loves about Chrissie.  I tried to read it to Chrissie, but broke down in tears, so Matt took over and read it to Chrissie.  Chrissie wiggled and raised her eyebrows and totally heard every word that Stephanie wrote to our sweet princess.  Emily, Stephanie's daughter (the pretty blonde in many of the photos with our family), has a sweet relationship with Chrissie.  Emily "babysits" Chrissie for atleast an hour every week day, and Chrissie LOVES "her" Emily.  (Chrissie says, "I want MY Emily.")  It's such a sweet relationship, and Chrissie has been instrumental in healing some broken parts of Emily's heart (emotionally).  Well, Emily also wrote Chrissie a sweet letter, so  I had Emily read her letter on speakerphone to Chrissie. 

Oh.my.word.  I bawled as Emily read her letter to Chrissie as Chrissie cried and cried and cried crocodile tears as she listened to Emily's words of all of the fun things they've done together.  Emily was so strong to read her letter to Chrissie; I was the one who lost it.  Chrissie shook her body with excitement, and she raised her eyebrows throughout the letter reading.  She was trying to open her eyes, but they just filled with tears as I soaked them up with a tissue.  Sweet, sweet, sometimes bittersweet moments, but Chrissie knows who all of us are, and she's comprehending everything we're saying.  Praise the Lord!

Once I saw how Chrissie reacted to Emily's voice, I was able to get all of our kiddos (Chrissie's siblings) on speakerphone to talk to her.  Chrissie reacted with tears and shaking and raising her eyebrows.  She knows her siblings, and oh how Chrissie LOVES them so.  I couldn't hold myself together listening to my kids speak sweet and loving words to their baby sister who lay on the hospital bed in a semi-comatose state.  Hard, hard stuff.

We've informed Chrissie that thousands of people are praying and fasting for her today.  We've let her know that we want her to keep fighting, to keep hanging on, to come back to Forgotten Saw Ranch to run and dance and play and swim and jump and sing.  Chrissie responded with raised eyebrows and lots of body movement as we begged her to keep on fighting.

We also told Chrissie to tell Jesus that she prefers to live at Forgotten Saw Ranch for now, and that she'll live with Jesus later, but if Chrissie decides that she'd like to live with Jesus now that we'll see her in Heaven one day because we will NEVER leave Chrissie.  We will always love her.  And she'll have a family to spend eternity with, whenever God chooses. 

I am so grateful for the gift of Jesus.  I seriously do NOT know how any family could go through this without the hope and saving grace of Jesus.  I am quite a mess today emotionally, I think because I've seen my daughter die twice, and I'm just not ready to see that happen again.  When we brought her into surgery the first time, Monday, April 19, I was able to tell her goodbye without even shedding a tear because I had such a sweet confidence that God had promised me He would heal her heart.

Now I am beginning to understand that yes, God did make me this promise, but Chrissie's heart may be healed in Heaven or on earth.  Either way, she will be healed.  Of course, I'm claiming on healing on earth on this Miracle Monday.  God knows my heart and my desires for my daughter's life.  He hears my cries, my begging, my pleas.  God's will is always perfect, and He is the only one who knows the number of hairs on Princess Chrissie's head and the number of days of her precious, perfect life, which will not be one day shorter than God has always had planned. 

I am just so grateful for faith.

That's what faith can do.

Broken hearts can be made brand new.

Praise Him and to God be all the glory, forever and ever and always.

Grateful for my Abba Daddy who loves my daughter more than me.  The One who gave His Son, willingly, so we could have this direct relationship with Him on this very day.  The One who secured our everlasting life with Chrissie, forever and ever and always, no matter what, because we have accepted His Son's gift of eternal life.

Have you accepted this precious gift?

They're coming in the room now to begin transferring Chrissie.  It's a huge ordeal just to get her and all of her equipment out of this room and into the OR. 

Grateful for the army of prayer warriors.

Love you all...