"Never adopt children even close to the age of your own. You should be past child bearing age, and your children should be at least 10-15 years older than the adopted kids. I don't think there is any such thing as an orphanage raised child who has not been a participant in sexual perversion. If you are older and your kids are grown, it is a wonderful, full time ministry to adopt foreign kids. You will experience heartache, possibly failure, but you may just save a soul from sure destruction. But if there is failure, at least your kids will not go down with them."
"Foster parenting is for people whose children are grown or for families with older children who take in the very young."
Comments written by Michael Pearl of No Greater Joy Ministries.
I am nauseated by these words. Sick. I had a prospective adoptive family contact me in fear after they read this article. I preached my opinion, based upon God's Word and my personal experience, to this sweet mom. Then I went to the site that ignited her fears, and I felt sad, sick, and frustrated beyond words.
I left a comment on Mr. Pearl's sight in response to his advice for families. Below are my thoughts to Mr. Pearl and the other parents who have left comments on Mr. Pearl's article, the very parents who may be timid toward adoption due to fears that man has set in their hearts. I don't know if Mr. Pearl will post my comments on his site, but I do not want any of you to read his words of caution and be turned away from the very heart of God with His command to care for orphans and widows in their distress. Here's a copied/pasted version of the comment I left for Mr. Pearl and his readers:
I am so sad to see such a negative viewpoint toward adoption and fostering with so many parameters being set up by man with regards to orphan care and fostering. It is God's command to care for orphans and widows in their distress. This, according to Scripture, is pure and undefiled religion. Nowhere in the Bible does it set parameters on WHO should care for orphans (older couples past child-bearing years, etc.), nor does it set parameters on the value of the life of an orphan (regardless of the child's history or being raised in an orphanage). All children are precious in His sight, regardless of what country they live in or whether they were orphaned or have lived in an orphanage or have suffered abuse. They are valued by God and He asks us to care for them. No child ever asks to be hurt/molested (including our bio kids), and all children (and adults) are valued and redeemable. His blood is our redemption. There is no sin too great for redemption, but if we all turn our backs on the orphans who God calls us to care for, they may never know redemption.
I am deeply saddened to see you scare off families from living out James 1:27 by setting your own parameters upon adoption and fostering. I would like to answer each and every one of you who have questioned whether or not you should adopt or foster to not be influenced by man, but to seek God, seek His Word, ask for His wisdom, be obedient to His call. Do not allow man to keep you from obedience to our Father's Word. I agree that not everyone is capable of adopting or fostering, but if God calls you, He will equip you to do His will. If God calls you to adopt and/or foster, He wants your obedience, regardless of the age of your bio children, regardless of where you are in your child-bearing years, regardless of man's fear and warnings.
I highly recommend Dr. Karyn Purvis' book The Connected Child if you are considering adoption or fostering. It is a Christian book with much insight and help for families caring for orphans.
We've broken all of the "rules" set by Mr. Pearl here. We've adopted children the exact same age as our bio children, we've adopted children older than our bio children, we've adopted children who no one else has wanted to adopt, and we are allowing God to write our story instead of disobeying His direct call and writing our own story. A story not authored by God Himself is not one we are interested in. We have witnessed redemption first-hand, and it is glorious. There is nothing more fulfilling than seeing a child who was once discarded, unloved and abused flourish into a God-fearing young woman who adores the Lord and serves Him wholeheartedly. Saved. Redeemed by the blood of the lamb through the obedience of a family who wasn't afraid of man's warnings, a family who has allowed God to write our story and display redemption first-hand.
Delayed obedience is disobedience. Partial obedience is disobedience. Do not let man sway you from obeying God. Seek Him first.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
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