Nuff Said

 

Sometimes I don’t even get to the shower part.

 

Fixing my eyes on all things eternal.  Thank you, Jesus!

God’s Provision

Whoa, are you serious?!?!

My very own iPad?!?!

From these nice people? 

Awwwww, these girls are so cute! 

And they sent this to me? 

Oh, not just to me, but to Conner and Cooper, too? 

Oh my goodness gracious, how sweet!!!!!!!

 

OK, let me see how this thing works.

Oh, wow, it’s a PIG!!!  I love pigs!

 

And a goat!  I can touch the goat!

 

 

Listen.  Goats say, “BAAAAAAAA!!!”  I can, too!  Listen to me!

No way, a CAT!!!  How does this thing know about all the animals I love and all the sounds I love to make?

Wow, this is the coolest gift ever!!!  I promise to share it with Cooper and Conner.  I’ll even show them how it works.  Please thank the generous, giving, kind family who sent this to us, okay?  And, Mommy, you’re right—God does always provide!  Thank you, Jesus!!!

 

Oh, and, Mommy, will you please ask all those awesome people out there what apps they recommend for me and my brothers?  I think we will need games for toddlers who like instant gratification.  You know, our attention span is about 5 seconds, so we like fast results.  And tell those people thanks in advance because they always have great advice.  Thanks!

 

And is there any way you can thank the people who make these games?  It’s really hard for my brain to make my finger touch the things I want to touch, but these games help my brain and my finger work together.  How do they do that?!?!  So awesome!

Kings and Queens

Today is National Adoption Day, a day to raise awareness for the boys and girls around the world just waiting to celebrate their adoption.  Adoption is redemption.  Someday the status of waiting children around the world will change from “orphans” to “kings and queens”.  Oh, the glorious majesty to be in His court.  Jesus, send families to rescue orphans, to bring Your redemption to the least of these.

 

Click HERE to watch this AWESOME video and listen to the TRUTH of this song.  I LOVE it!!!!!!

Sticks and Stones

This little cowgirl was up most of the night vomiting last night.

 

Poor baby was vomiting every 20-40 minutes for hours.

 

Eventually, a twig came out!!!!!!

 

Yes, you read that correctly.  A twig.  Much like the one she’s holding in the photo above, only shorter.

 

 

Yes, a small stick came out of Selah’s stomach via her mouth last night.  I was stunned.

 

It was about the size of my pinky.  Maybe 3 inches long and 1/2” in diameter. 

 

How in the world does one swallow a twig?!?!?!  Look at that innocent face!

 

I seriously do not have an answer to this mystery.  No one had any idea that Selah had ever put a twig in her mouth, much less swallowed it.  And we’re continuously following her around like hawks, which leaves me baffled as to how Selah could have actually swallowed something of this size without gagging—or spitting it out. 

 

I know Selah loves all things sticks and stones, dirt, dust, and ranch, and all things cowboy, just like her brothers.  But eating sticks?  No one does that!

 

Not even Kiefer the Kowboy!!!  I just can’t fathom how something that large could be swallowed.  It didn’t even appear to have been chewed.  Just a whole twig.

 

Praise God it came back up successfully.  I shudder to imagine what damage this twig could have done to Selah’s intestines had it not come back up.  We would have never known it was in there either.  So far, there’s been no signs of any damage, praise God.  No blood in her vomit, no blood in her stools, no signs of pain or complications. 

 

Oh, Jehovah Rapha, heal this little cowgirl, and Lord, please always surround Selah with your angels of protection.  Thank you, Jesus!

Indoor Residential Gym?!?!

I’m looking for ideas.

 

In order for Selah to be manageable, she must be moving.  She’s much easier to handle when she’s able to roam around our ranch (supervised, of course), running, jumping, climbing, and exploring.

 

Now that the time change occurred, it’s dark around 6:30PM at our house, making it difficult for Selah to roam around outside.  Plus, it’s getting colder outside, and no one really wants to follow Selah around with a flashlight outside!!!

 

So, I’m trying to come up with ideas for indoors.  Selah just isn’t safe in our house.  She literally climbs everything…bookshelves, cabinets, dressers, even the walls!!!  She stacks things like boxes and tubs on the floor in order to get higher.  The higher, the better for Selah.

 

Selah’s also really destructive.  We’ve had more items broken in our home over the last few months (by Selah) than in 16 years of raising kids.  I’m not exaggerating.  Selah climbs everything, then grabs anything she can reach, throwing it as far as she can, all in a split second.  We’ve never experienced anything like this.  She’s pure joy, but, man, we’ve gotta protect Selah, as well as ourselves, and our stuff!!!

 

Selah also cannot be contained or restrained without her hurting herself or others.  This is just part of who Selah is and what her brain requires.  Praise God that He gave Selah to us after raising numerous little ones so that we would know it’s not us or the way we’re parenting.  This is all part of Selah’s multiple brain malformations, and no combination of parenting techniques make a bit of difference.

 

Oh, and Selah doesn’t play with toys.  She doesn’t watch movies or TV, she doesn’t play with puzzles or dolls or learning toys.  She moves.  Constantly.  Doesn’t sit still for 15 seconds.  Ever.  Which is all fine and dandy until we need to “contain” her indoors!!!

 

Selah is medicated and doing better, but we must make adjustments indoors to meet Selah’s needs during the times that she cannot go outdoors.

 

That’s why I’m searching for ideas.

 

Ideally, we’d LOVE to have an indoor “safe room” for Selah.  In my mind, this would look much like what you’d find in an occupational/physical therapy gym.  Or even what you’d find in a gymnastics gym!!!  This is the type of stuff Selah loves.  Large motor activities with lots of climbing, jumping, crashing, and swinging.

 

Unfortunately, that type of space is not what you find easily in residential spaces.  That type of equipment is outrageously expensive, way out of our price range.  That’s why I’d like to pick your brains for alternative ideas.

 

Currently, I’m thinking about purchasing a huge camping tent, simply in an effort to have an indoor space where Selah could be safely contained.  (Hopefully.)  She shouldn’t be able to climb the walls or climb out of a tent, although we’d have to secure the zipper system so she couldn’t just unzip it and climb out.  Someone would be in the tent with her at all times to supervise her, but we’d need to find some equipment to put inside the tent to occupy her or she’d go crazy.

 

That’s where I’m stuck.  What could I put inside the tent, that’s affordable, that would keep Selah occupied?!?!  Since she doesn’t play with toys, and her brain needs large motor movement, our options are limited.  We have a small Little Tikes climbing cube with slide, but Selah really doesn’t use it.  She likes bigger and more daring stunts.

 

Please leave a comment or email me at BossYourHeart {at} gmail {dot} com if you have any ideas or suggestions or if you know where to get equipment for cheap!!!  I would so appreciate any advice you may have!!!

Nuts and Bolts {Part 3}

Here’s the final post in this series, as I only have one more question to answer:

I'd also like to hear the nuts-n-bolts about how you have housed everyone- did you move, add-on, or what? How have you decided how to put what kids in what rooms, with whom?

 

Back in the summer of 2005, we moved to our current home on our little ranch in our little town in the hill country of Texas.  (We used to live across the street!)  The original plan had been that once our former home sold, we would build a replica of an historical home on our new property.  We even took an RV trip to Pennsylvania to view the original historical home that was our inspiration, then we had an historical architect draw up the plans.

Well, our home sold more quickly than we expected, so my husband decided that he would build a barn with guest quarters on our ranch, with the intention of temporarily living there while our other home was being built.  Thirty days into the barn project, I took a break from packing up our former home, and visited the site of our future temporary home.

 

I was stunned by how massive this “barn” was.  Stunned.  My husband had built a 4,000 square foot barn, which was not the plan!!!  He finished the project in just 62 days, and we moved in June 2005, still believing it was only temporary.

 

Well, this barn monstrosity really rocked my world at the time.  I just couldn’t commence with our former plans to build the historical home.  I couldn’t come to peace with that plan, so we took a year to pray, while living in our “temporary” residence—a 4,000 square foot barn with two bedrooms. 

 

After much prayer and contemplation, God revealed His plan.  We were to make the “barn” our permanent home.  We decided to renovate the barn and incorporate some of the historical features of the Pennsylvania inspirational home.

Before we knew it, we had a 6,000 square foot home!!!!!!!  This was NOT the plan.  Ever!!!  At the time, we only had three kids.  Having this huge “barn” home that was never part of the plan really messed me up.  I couldn’t figure out why things turned out this way. 

In late 2006, God revealed to me a small glimpse of His plan.  He didn’t give me the details, but He did give me peace.  The only piece of the puzzle He revealed had something to do with a retreat for children.  I didn’t understand what that meant exactly, but He washed me with such a peace that I was able to let go of the struggle of having such a large home with only three children.

 

In November 2007, God called us to adopt our first child, Meribeth.  He began to show us a tiny glimpse of this “children’s retreat”, although, at the time, we didn’t really think OUR children would be the ones enjoying the children’s retreat.  We thought maybe we’d host weekend retreats or summer camps or something for children who needed to find Jesus and be in a healthy environment, short-term.

 

Well, in an effort to make a long story somewhat shorter, here we are in 2012 with ten children living in our home.  God is good1  He knew all along that He planned to fill this home with many children, not children who would come once a year to enjoy this beautiful ranch, but children He would hand pick to permanently join our family.  We never would have guessed this back in 2005 when God started His blueprints on this plan!!!

 

So, to answer the question above, we haven’t had to move and we haven’t had to add on.  God had already provided the perfect “retreat” for His chosen children.

 

We have played “musical rooms” quite a bit though.  Every bedroom in our home (there are 5 bedrooms total) has been inhabited by various family members.  Usually God tells us who to house where, but that changes as the seasons of life change.  Currently, God has Selah (age 2) in a bedroom by herself in a crib.  Our three oldest girls share a room (the room that was originally our master bedroom, back when this barn had just two bedrooms).

Above is an old photo of Selah’s room, which used to Mattie’s room, then it was Mattie’s and Meribeth’s room, then it was a girls’ playroom, and now it’s Selah’s room.

 

Below is a photo of our older girls’ bedroom, which was originally our master bedroom.

 

 

Cooper and Conner share a bedroom with two cribs.  That bedroom was originally Sawyer’s bedroom (back when we just had 3 kids).  Vlad and Dima (our host children and sons of our heart) also slept in this room, as it has a full-sized bed, in addition to the two cribs.

 

 

In another bedroom, you’ll find Parker (15), Sawyer (12), Kiefer (4), and Ella (7).  Parker and Kiefer share the bottom queen-sized bunk, while Sawyer sleeps above them.  Ella sleeps in the top bunk of the other bunk bed in that same room.  Ella used to sleep in a small bed in the older girls’ bedroom, but we recently made this change, with confirmation from God that this would be the best arrangement for this season.  It’s working out well.  Kiefer and Ella are best friends and wanted to sleep in the same bedroom, but we needed supervision for them, so this works perfectly.

 

I’m sure the sleeping arrangements will change again, just as the seasons come and go, but for now, this works well.  I have a feeling Ella and Selah (biological half-sisters) will one day share a room.  Our home is designed with a boys’ wing and a girls’ wing, with two bedrooms at one end of the house for the girls and two bedrooms at the opposite end of the house for the boys.  Currently, there are two full-sized beds that have no one sleeping in them, so there’s still space for adjustments to be made if necessary. 

 

We never know when or if God plans to bring us more children, but He ALWAYS provides.  ALWAYS.  Most of our children’s beds/cribs were given to us.  Our dining room table was provided for only the cost of the materials.  Seriously, Jehovah Jireh always lives out His name.  He is The Provider.  It wouldn’t matter if our home was 600 square feet or 6,000, He would provide abundantly regardless, and all our needs would be met.

 

God is so good.  We praise Him for the many blessings He’s entrusted to us, and for His abundant provision along the way.

Nuts and Bolts {Part 2}

So, here’s part 2 of the “Nuts and Bolts” series, that sparked from this comment on our blog:

Julia wrote: I really like hearing about the nuts-n-bolts of how you do it. Do you have a system for "semi-clean" clothes? In our house, the clothes that can be washed again are draped on a chair- where they stay for a long time. Do you just wash everything after even a "minor" wear, or do you have a place for these clothes (without putting them back in the drawer? Also, how do you motivate kids to actually do their part with household chores? It's not that our kids are refusing- they are just "head in the clouds" kids, and it takes SO MUCH effort on my part to nag, remind, cajole, etc. for them to get stuff done. I'd also like to hear the nuts-n-bolts about how you have housed everyone- did you move, add-on, or what? How have you decided how to put what kids in what rooms, with whom?

 

Today, I’m addressing this question:

Also, how do you motivate kids to actually do their part with household chores? It's not that our kids are refusing- they are just "head in the clouds" kids, and it takes SO MUCH effort on my part to nag, remind, cajole, etc. for them to get stuff done.

 

A couple of years ago, I discovered a book called Managers of Their Chores by Steve and Teri Maxwell.  This was seriously a life-changing book for me…and my kids…and my husband…and our entire home.  (And, nope, I’m not getting paid anything to promote this book!!!  Julia (the author of the comment I’m addressing), since you’re a homeschooling publisher, you probably know the Maxwells.  They’re awesome!)

 

Anyway, before I discovered this book, my husband was paying a housecleaner to clean our home weekly.  While that was luxurious, I learned that I was actually doing my children a disservice.  I learned from a Biblical viewpoint why chores are so important, and this is what radically changed the way our entire home and family operated.  (At the time, I had no clue God was planning to rapidly grow our family through adoption.  It’s a good thing He changed our house cleaning/chore system before our expansion because the expense of a weekly house cleaner is not in our budget—-plus, a house cleaner would need to come daily to keep up with this crew!!!)

 

Each of our children (who are capable of doing chores) has a chore notebook.  This means everyone except Selah, Conner, and Cooper is expected to do chores, every day except Sunday.

 

Managers of Their Chores has fabulous ideas for organizing family chores, as well as offering ideas for younger children to get in on the action.  The book opened my eyes to chores that little ones can do, such as changing the hand towels, wiping the switch plates and door knobs, and wiping down our wooden stairs and railings.  The little ones look forward to the day they’re able to finally get a “real” chore!

 

Managers of Their Chores has something called “chore packs”, which is basically picture chore cards hung on a ring clip which is then clipped to little ones to remind them of their daily chores.  We don’t use these, but I did like the idea.

 

For some of our children, I have them do the exact same chore every single day.  For example, Kiefer (age 4) wipes down our wooden stairs every single day.  He loves this chore.  Sometimes it’s just easier to have one child do the exact same chore every single day.  Ella (age 7) dusts using the Swiffer every single day, but the rooms that she dusts changes by the day.  She’s assigned 2 rooms/areas per day.  Plus, Ella waters the indoor plants daily as well.

 

For the older kids, their chores change daily.  This is where their chore folders come in handy.  Inside the folder, there’s a page for each day.  The pages detail the chores for each day.  The page is slipped inside a clear 3-ring page protector, and the kids use dry-erase markers to check off their chores as they complete them.  (This was a novel, fun idea when we first implemented the chore system, but now the kids all know what their chores are for each day, so they no longer use their chore notebooks.)

 

Each of our children has “regular” chores, such as getting dressed, making bed, brushing teeth, cleaning up after themselves, etc., but then there are the extra chores like sweeping, mopping, cleaning toilets, cleaning mirrors, cleaning windows, cleaning sinks and showers, etc.  With everyone pitching it, no one has more than one hour of chores per day, and our house stays fairly clean and tidy.  “Fairly” is a relative term, of course, but for 12 people living in our home, I’d say things are in pretty good order.  It’s a bit challenging since we homeschool because that means most of us are here 24/7, which means more people and more time to make more messes, but I wouldn’t trade that for the joy of these many blessings running around here leaving fingerprints on the walls…and sometimes even footprints on the ceilings!!!

 

Without the help of each child, there’s no way *I* could do this on my own.  I’m so very grateful for the help each child (and my hubby) contributes to running our home, and I’m so grateful God gave us this system.  I never realized, until I read Managers of Their Chores, the importance of chores.  There’s so much to learn from this book that I can’t even begin to go into detail here, so I highly recommend this book if you’re interested in teaching your children to not be lazy, to work hard, to apply themselves Biblically, to serve their family…you know, all those important virtues and values that many times we don’t realize are learned simply through daily service.

 

As far as tips for getting our children to do their chores, when we first implemented this system, we educated our children on the Biblical reasoning behind chores.  We studied, as a family, the many scriptures cited throughout Managers of Their Chores so that everyone would be on the same page.  We wanted our children to understand, from a Biblical perspective, why their chores were so important.  This helped tremendously to get everyone on board.  Intrinsic motivation is important to me, so helping everyone to understand the Biblical importance, mandates, and opportunities for service found in chores was vital to the success of this system.

 

And praise, praise, praise, praise, praise the kids for helping, especially when chores are first implemented. For the kids who are motivated by praise, this works beautifully. Those who have a service love language are happy to serve because they’re showing love in their language.  In my opinion, positive motivation and encouragement is the best way for everyone to have success, but if that doesn’t work, there’s always consequences, just like in real life.

 

Our children are expected to do their chores first thing in the morning.  It’s fairly easy for me to scan and see if everyone is busy completing their chores, and if someone is off-task, usually a verbal reminder is my first response.  If that’s not effective, consequences are next.  Our consequences are tailored to each child because different things work best for different kids.  We have some children who have never had a consequence for chore laziness simply because these children want to help, they want to serve, and they want to please God through their obedience, and they truly do an amazing job.  This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome, but not everyone operates that way.

 

For the children who are forgetful, who sometimes blatantly disobey, and sometimes even pretend that they completed their chores when they did not, there’s always a consequence.  If the consequence isn’t effective, we change the consequence until we (hopefully!) find something that is effective.  For some of our kiddos, charging them a fine is effective.  For others, being assigned extra chores is effective.  Each child seems to have various consequences, from walking on the treadmill, to loss of privileges, to early bedtime, to no dessert.  It takes some trial and error to see what motivates and encourages the kids to get their chores done, but the expectation that they won’t be able to do anything fun until chores are completed is probably the biggest motivator.

 

I also have learned through trial and error which chores are performed best by which children.  That makes things easier on all of us (having specific chores assigned to the child(ren) who does those tasks best).  I am so, so, so grateful to have the help of each person in our family. Each contributes to the success of our family, home, and ranch. God is just so good to bless us with so many children, and then show us an awesome system to make it all work.

 

One thing I’ve learned, the hard way (and still struggle with), is that negative criticism, versus constructive instruction, really squelches things.  This is a constant battle for me because I’m a Type A personality.  I had to give up on perfectionism in order to have this chore system work (which was all part of God’s plan), so God’s been working on me in some mighty ways through this system.  I still struggle with wanting certain things done “my way”, so for certain chores, I prefer to do them myself.  But, for the most part, I’m truly blown away by how well our children do their chores and how much character training occurs in the process.  Such good traits to learn as children that will carry over into adulthood, future jobs, and serving their future families.

 

I’m truly grateful that God’s been in the process of transforming me from a Martha to a Mary, and this chore system is part of His plan in that.  I’ve been completely amazed to see what a truly awesome job most of our children do with their chores, and I couldn’t be more grateful for all of the help and teamwork that goes into large family living.  I praise God for His work in each of us, training us and teaching us not only how to do certain tasks, how to work hard and not be lazy (such an important virtue found numerous times throughout the Bible), but also teaching us how to find joy in serving our family and taking care of our home and ranch, even in tasks that aren’t normally considered enjoyable.  Praise Him!!!