The part that I know is real is the huge hole in my heart. Chrissie had a physical hole in her heart (just one of the many congenital heart defects she battled), but I have an emotional hole in my heart. A piece of my heart will always be missing. It's shaped like a large capital "C" for "Chrissie". It will remain there until I am reunited with my Princess Chrissie in Heaven. And in the meantime, as I wait here on earth, my Heavenly Father will hold me, sustain me, and carry me faithfully day in and day out. God's love, grace and mercy is the best dose of healing medicine out there.
God had a big surprise in store for us on this day. He sent us one of Haitian kiddos! Nahomie (age 17) came home today from Haiti. We are so very blessed to have this precious child of God join our family. It's an absolute miracle that she is in Texas right now, and we must give God all of the glory. There are so many times that God's timing does not feel perfect. He sent us Kiefer from Haiti just two weeks prior to Chrissie's open-heart surgery, and now, just one month since Chrissie went to live with Jesus, God has sent us another beautiful and treasured Haitian child. God's timing is ALWAYS perfect, no matter what things may look like to us. We are mere mortals who have no ability to fathom God's perfect timing. Sometimes God chooses to shed some light on His perfect timing of specific events, and I can honestly say that Kiefer's arrival was absolutely perfect timing and I know that Nahomie's arrival today is also His perfect timing. I wholeheartedly trust Him, the creator of Heaven and earth.
We may be faced with criticism from the world, but being obedient to God and loving Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength is our top priority. We know there will be people and situations where we'll be ridiculed and questioned, and that's OK with us. My husband has reminded me of the ministry God so clearly called us to: James 1:27 Ministry: to care for widows and orphans in their distress. And this doesn't come in our desired timing. It comes in His perfect timing. All He requires is our obedience, and He works out the rest in ways we could never fathom.
My mom sent me this little story (found below) called "The Quilt Holes". I felt it was perfect for today, the one month anniversary of Chrissie's Homegoing as well as the welcoming of another one of God's chosen children for our family. God is good all the time and all the time, God is good. He gives and takes away, and our hearts still choose to say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord!" (Job 1:21)
"The Quilt Holes"
'As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.
Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.
I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.
Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me and nodded for me to rise.
My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.
And now, I had to face the truth.. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.
I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.
An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes.
Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.'
May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go.
This is our family at the San Antonio airport where Nahomie arrived at 3:45PM this afternoon. (Our 10-year-old son, Sawyer, is not present in the photo as he played in an All-Star game in Dripping Springs that conflicted with the timing of Nahomie's arrival.) We all adore Nahomie, and she is quite happy to be here! To God be all the glory!
PS Matt is passing a kidney stone, which is extremely painful. Please pray for him as this Father's Day will be a hard one emotionally, and being in physical pain on top of the emotional pain just stinks! But praise God for His huge gift of the arrival of our sweet Nahomie. Couldn't ask for a better Father's Day gift, hand-picked by our Heavenly Father! We praise you, Lord!!!